Nautiscarader's Wendip Week 2018 4: Date Night
by nautiscarader
Summary: Dipper decides to let the bygones be bygones, agreeing to a not-date with Wendy. Rated T for some minor innuendos.


\- Okay, Mabel, I'm not going to lie, I'm kinda scared...

Dipper Pines took a deep breath, hoping this simple technique would calm him down. He stared at his scrawny reflection in the elongated mirror in their room, watching his sister browsing through myriad of hair products, brushes and other cosmetics. He called her again, and she responded with waving her leg, as the rest of her body disappeared in the huge chest that served as her "beauty closet" she claimed was portable.

Only when her brother said her name for a third time, Mabel Pines emerged fully, like a genie from a lamp, her sweater dotted with dozens of hair-rollers stuck to it. Like a dog trying to dry itself, she shook her whole body, forcing some of the accessories to fall to the ground, and free of her restraints, she waddled to Dipper.

\- Relax, bro, you just meet with a girl!

\- That's the whole point! - he exclaimed, watching as Mabel yanked his hat from his head and dumped a whole scoop of her gel underneath it.

\- Mabel has everything under control...

Contrary to what she just said, she begun messing with Dipper's chestnut hair, spreading the sticky substance all over it, trying (and from the feel of it, losing) her battle to make his hairdo a bit more normal.

\- Mabel, do you really know what are you doing?

\- I know what I know, and I don't know what I don't know, keep it still, Dipstick! - she argued back, pushing not just his hair, but the whole head, and finally his whole body to the ground.

Having no chance of winning with his sister, Dipper just gave up, and watched in the mirror as new, brown monstrosities rose from his head the longer Mabel felt "creative". A whole five minutes passed, before she stood up, and proudly announced that her work was done. Dipper had to admit, that even though the general look of his did not change, the small touches Mabel did made him look a bit... better. At least until he put on the hat again, and everything disappeared under the hit and blue material.

\- Mabel, I still don't think if it's gonna work. After all, it's Wendy.

To that, even Mabel initially couldn't find an answer, leaving Dipper once again gaping at the teenage figure in the mirror. True, he was older, a bit less miserable looking when he was thirteen, and the once-enormous vertical mirror was now almost his height, but still, he was about to spend evening with one person his heart still fluttered for.

He thought he should feel excited beyond belief, able to jump to high heavens and back, and while Wendy's nonchalant "Yeah, sure" answer to his yesterday's proposition made him exactly that, only when she disappeared from the view, Dipper understood what kind of burden he was now carrying. Less than twenty-four hours ago the thought of going out with Wendy Corduroy was just a fleeting dream, a theoretical concept, never fulfilled by Dipper-kind, but now, it was more than real.

And fortunately, in the time Dipper had to go through all of his thoughts again, Mabel found a suitable reply to her brother's conundrum.

\- Well, technically, brother, it's not a date, is it? You guys just gonna... hang out. - he raised her brow.

\- Yeah! - Dipper continued - And that's what a date is-

\- Only if these two people have a thing for each other. - Mabel ended her brother's thought. - And, while you, obviously do... - Mabel ignored Dipper's attempt at contradicting that fact. - She, let's face it, just want to see what's been going with you when we were gone!

Mabel sighed, and grabbed Dipper's arms, staring into her brother's eyes.

\- Listen, I know things were complicated between you two. And I'd lie if I said Wendy would forget about it. But that's one very important aspect of meeting with her: you have to move forward to let the past go.

\- Let... it ... go... - Dipper repeated, almost in trance.

\- Yes, exactly, Dipper! You are just friends, nothing romantic going on between you two. Honestly, you have no idea how embarrassing is for a girl to meet with a guy she either used to date, or she knows he had a thing for her, and then see the guy trying to hit on her again. So her asking you to meet with her is a huge improvement!

She paused for a moment, shying away, which gave Dipper a chance to suddenly pull her into a deep hug and respond.

\- Thanks, Mabel. I knew you'd be the one person to help me with all that mushy stuff. - he smiled - And thanks for believing I can pull it off-

\- ...and this is exactly why we're going to control you the whole time, so you don't mess things up! - Mabel suddenly shouted, while something tight tied around Dipper's neck.

At once, having difficulty with breathing, Dipper pushed Mabel away, trying to get the thing stuck to his neck, and only when he saw himself in a mirror, he understood what Mabel has put on him. The red-white-and-blue material was too familiar for Dipper not to recognise Ford's old Mind-Controlling Tie, which from the looks of it Mabel has re-shaped into a form of a bow-tie.

Taking one deep breath after another, Dipper looked back and forth at his reflection and at Mabel, beaming with satisfaction.

\- See, brother? I told you I have everything under control... - she waved the second tie around her finger, as if to tease him.

Predictably, Dipper launched himself at his sister, but the moment Mabel saw him move, she put the matching tie on her neck. Afraid that Dipper might grab it, she raised her hands in defence, and when she did that, she found that Dipper did the same. His eyes opened wide, when he noticed the core of her bowtie blinked, guessing his did it as well, since he definitely did not want to stop and put his hands up in the air.

A sly smile crept onto Mabel's face when she realised her idea worked, and before he could - or rather could not - protest, Dipper was doing a victory dance, as if he himself became a mirror to his sister's bidding.

\- It worked! - they both said in unison, though only one meant it.

Mabel reached to her bowtie and disabled it, giving Dipper one last warning look not to try anything silly. Reluctantly, Dipper had to oblige.

\- Mabel, was that really the only option? - he cried out - Do you really think I can't handle one d... One meeting with a girl?

\- Honestly, yeah. - Mabel replied coldly - And besides, who was pouting that he's not "smawt enough fow aww that mushy stuff" a moment ago? - Mabel mocked him.

\- That was before I knew you were going to control my mind and body! And... - Dipper paused for a moment - When did you get these bowties?

\- I sewed them myself! - she blew a raspberry in response.

\- And did you re-soldier all the circuits as well? - Dipper asked, flipping the piece of clothing to its other side, revealing copper-green electronic board, blinking with lights.

\- Yes, I did, actually. - she proclaimed - Grunkle Ford taught me. He said that all girls should know that stuff, and I agree! I've been using so much glue for my stickers, and all the time I could have just zap them!

She moved two of her fingers together, mimicking the act of soldiering, together with an exaggerated sound effect.

\- Okay, but you're not gonna control me all the time. - Dipper tried talking some sense into her - Only when I'm, you know...

\- ... you're gonna be yourself?

\- In trouble! That's what I meant. - Dipper snapped.

Mabel sighed again, and rose her arm with two fingers into the air.

\- Okay, Dipper, I promise, we won't mess with your awkwardness too much.

\- Thanks. I mean, I really don't want Wendy to think I'm some sort of a creep who- Wait, what do you mean "we"?

\- Candy and Grenda, of course! - Mabel answered - Come on, Dipper, we couldn't miss *that* opportunity!

Once again, he grabbed Dipper's shoulders, though this time, to prevent him from taking her bow-tie from her.

\- I can promise you, brother, you're gonna have a nice, completely non-romantic evening with Wendy, and once you guys go home without holding hands, you're going to be just friends. That's what you want, right?

It was Dipper's time to look away from Mabel's piercing gaze. He took a moment, and with a sharp, cold pain in his guts, he answered her.

\- Yeah. That's for the better.

* * *

A few minutes later, the twins ran out of the Shack, only to be met not by two, but three figures. Candy and Grenda were joined by Pacifica Northwest, who turned on the spot, hearing Mabel's voice. Her eyes grew wide when she realised, a moment too late, that the pink blur of Mabel rushed into her open arms a bit faster than humans usually do.

\- Really guys? There's three of you? - Dipper sighed, as he watched Mabel greet with her three friends.

\- The more the merrier, bro! And besides, we couldn't leave Paz alone.

\- Actually, what is it you guys plan doing...? - the Northwest heiress asked, moving her eyes from Mabel to Dipper and their already bizarre choice of neck-wear.

\- Dipper and Wendy go on a not-date. - Candy explained - Because he wants to let the bygones be bygones.

\- Yeah, and if he doesn't, then Mabel will just steer him away! - Grenda added, smashing her fists together.

\- Yup, that is something only you could come up with. - Pacifica spoke, giving her friend a warm smile. - Sounds like it's gonna be fun.

\- Okay, Dip, you go first, and we will follow behind you, just so that Wendy won't see us! - Mabel gave Dipper one last pat on the back, like a farmer trying to guide a cow into a pen.

At least that's how Dipper felt the entire way. It was already getting dark, and even though the team behind him moved surprisingly silent, given who it consisted of, he still had the ominous feeling of being watched during a deeply private situation.

It didn't make it easier the fact that his bowtie was tied just a bit too tight so the entire way to the diner Dipper fought with it, perhaps just not to give Mabel the satisfaction of being her puppet.

\- Come on, the stupid thing...

\- Hey, man.

A warm, low voice of Wendy immediately forced Dipper to stop fiddling with his bowtie. Wendy Corduroy rose almost from the ground in front of him, and stared curiously at the thing Dipper was toying with.

\- You look sharp. - she smiled, giving his arm a playful nudge.

\- Uh, thanks. - he replied, but immediately regained his senses - Uh, I mean, these are just, uh, random stuff I put on. You know, cos it's not like it's a special occasion or anything.

\- Sure - Wendy chuckled - Come on, you gotta tell me what you've been up to.

She grabbed his hand and was about to drag him down the street, but she soon realised she's been holding empty air, as Dipper stood on the pavement as if he was paralysed.

\- Uh, no, Wendy, I had a bit of cold last week - he said slowly - So no holding hands. A-choo. A-choo.

\- O...kay. - Wendy said, measuring Dipper's petrified figure from head to toe.

The last words of his sounded fake already, but by doing precisely no movements with his arms and speaking them with no inflection in his voice, it almost looked like he has been hypnotised or beaten by zombie.

\- Dude, have you been brainwashed by aliens or something?

\- No! - Dipper suddenly screamed and dashed forward, as if a force has been holding him up for the last few minutes. - It's just, uh, the cold!

Wendy raised her brow again, sent him a soft smile and continued walking down the road, this time with her arms crossed.

\- So, did high school change you that much? - she asked - I don't remember you joking so much before.

\- Uh, maybe? - Dipper scratched his head - Anyway, do we go to the Greasy's Diner?

\- Oh, no, there's a new place! - Wendy cheered - Lee told me about it, he works there part-time as a cleaner.

The "new place" turned out to be a rather small-looking bar with just a few sitting places inside. It had, however, more than a few tables outside, put around a square-ish yard. With only two other tables occupied, Dipper and Wendy grabbed their drinks and chose the first one they spotted.

\- Okay, dude, first of all, how come you got so tall? Do they feed you in a cafeteria with steroids? - she asked, leaning towards him.

\- Me? Tall? Nah, Mabel's almost as tall as me. - Dipper answered, nervously taking a huge gulp of soda - W-why do you even ask?

\- Nah, I just still remember you when you first arrived here. - she brushed it off.

The two quickly started talking about their schools; Wendy was more than helpful giving Dipper tips about surviving his last year at high school, and Dipper eagerly swapped stories about his classmates, much to Wendy's amusement. Every once in a while, he had to control himself in order not to divert the discussion into more risque territory. As soon as Wendy mentioned her friend dating, he faked another sneeze, this time himself, blaming the weather, and that has fortunately made Wendy remember about some huge downpours that brought some trouble to her father.

And as minutes went by, Dipper Pines felt more than confident that he would be able to survive his not-date like he planned.

\- Be right back, gonna go to the toilet. And to have a refill!

Wendy stood up and went towards the exit, leaving Dipper in possibly even more perplexed state. He did everything in his might not to stare at her seductive, hourglass figure, and instead, he directed his eyes towards the opposite end of the fenced square.

When his eyes met Mabel's, however, his whole body froze, and before he knew what was happening, he found himself whispering a message to himself.

\- Hi, broseph - Mabel's words escaped his mouth - We had to break in from the backside! We can't really hear you guys that much, but we're gonna intervene if we think you act too much like the dork in love. Over and out!

Dipper almost lost grip on his can of soda when Mabel released him from under her control, just when Wendy appeared again in the doorway. Instinctively, she followed Dipper's eyes, but couldn't find what he was staring at, his body twisted in a slightly unnatural pose.

\- Do I want to know what you've been up to...?

\- Stretching! - Dipper responded, doing the exact thing he talked about - You know, you shouldn't skip the leg day and all of that.

\- Never though you would get book from your noses to keep fit - she slurped her drink - Er, nose from your books, I meant.

They both chuckled.

\- Yeah, I'm still trying my best to get best grades. And how goes the college hunt?

\- Uh, could be better - she groaned - But that can wait a few more weeks. What do you want to talk about?

\- Er... I want to...

Once again, to Wendy's surprise, Dipper's body stiffened, his arms lay flat on the table, and he recited next few sentences as if he was reading from a prompter situated somewhere behind her back.

\- I want to talk about nerdy stuff. Comic books. Old sci-fi shows. You know, the things most girls don't like.

This was a bit too much for Wendy, who leaned on the table and poked Dipper in the forehead.

\- Okay, Dipper, what is going on? Why would you say girls wouldn't like it? - she spread her arms in confusion.

In the bush just a few feet away from the two, Mabel exchanged silent victorious nods wit the other three girls.

\- Great! She got a bit mad! - Candy exclaimed.

\- Uh, Mabel, should we really mess up his da... uh, meeting with Wendy? - Pacifica asked - I mean, I know a bit or two about being controlled and...

\- Shush! - Mabel put her hand on her friend's face, silencing her.

To her utmost surprise, Wendy was not arguing with the motionless Dipper, but laughing jovially at the petrified form of Dipper.

\- Dude, that is the best impression of those zombies I've ever seen! - she laughed, pointing to his face, now twisting in a grimace of disbelief, the same as the one on Mabel's face.

She leaned again, and twirled the straw in her drink.

\- Yeah, that was the last movie we watched together, last Summer, wasn't it...?

\- Yes! - Dipper exclaimed, feeling Mabel's control tightening again. - Yes, impression. That's... that's what I've been doing.

Knowing his sister was just around the corner, he took the risk, leaned forward as well, and not noticing Wendy's eyes that suddenly got bigger, he whispered.

\- Wendy, listen, I have something to tell you...

But Dipper's plan of informing Wendy about his sister were interrupted by a short, but loud screech somewhere above his head, followed by a quick, upbeat music from the speakers mounted under the roof of the diner.

\- Oh, right, Lee told me they play music in the evening. Wanna dance?

And once again, Dipper was dragged behind her, as he suddenly understood what the paved square space was for. The other two couples joined them on the dancefloor, while the fast-paced pop hit of this Summer filled the air around them, undoubtedly annoying any neighbours.

Meanwhile, in the bushes, Mabel was panicking.

\- They are dancing! What if Dipper asks her to dance again? - she grabbed her head - I promised Dipper I'll make this not-date as perfect as possible! And why does this thing doesn't work?

Mabel pushed the centre of her bowite furiously, but it seemed that something was interfering with the transmission.

\- Maybe they just gonna play this one song, and they'll be done? - Candy hypothesised.

\- Hmm... maybe... - Mabel pondered - The only worse thing that a dance would be...

Suddenly, the screeching sound interrupted them again, the fast song faded, and slow, mellow tunes reached the girls' ears instead. They all exchanged knowing looks, whispering the dreadful words "Slow dance".

Forgetting about their strategic position, Mabel peeked from the bush, only to see Dipper, being his nervous self, awkwardly trying to lead Wendy during this song.

\- Okay, not everything is lost. Move aside, guys.

Spreading her arms aside, Mabel broke a few branches to give herself just enough space for her feet to move. She took a deep breath, and with hope in her heart pressed the button on the bow-tie, this time hearing the connection beep.

\- Listen, Wendy, I couldn't say it before, but... - Dipper stammered, feeling Wendy's body pressed against his. Dancing with her in the vaguely modern, random way was one thing, but leading her in a definitely romantic song, practically made for making-out was a completely different affair.

\- What's that, Dipper?

And for the third time this evening, Wendy felt Dipper's body getting rigid, this time with even more painful consequences when his foot landed on hers.

\- Auch, Dipper!

\- th... the... bowtie... - he managed to stutter, before he felt his tongue getting tied into a knot.

Now, at least he was in motion, instead of standing still, though the restrained, almost mechanical moves of his sister, trying in her might to emulate a style of someone who only vaguely heard about dancing made everything more complicated.

\- Bowtie? - Wendy asked - Oh, you tied it too tightly, didn't you?

And then, when Wendy's fingers slipped past the electronics, the unthinkable happened. The connection with Mabel's bow-tie was lost, her own device short-circuited, and Dipper regained control of his arms, a sudden twitch in his muscles closing them around Wendy's waist, much to her surprise.

\- Dipper?! - Wendy gasped, mesmerised by the sudden closeness of her friend, already mentally ready to fall into his arms by the time of the next chorus.

Meanwhile, Mabel was getting out of her mind.

\- Guys, we need to do something!

\- But what? - Pacifica asked - It looks to me they are doing alright - she snickered.

\- Paz, don't you get it? - she grabbed her shoulder - I don't want Dipper to be heartbroken again! I don't want to give him false impression that Wendy likes him like "that"!

\- Yeah, but here's a crazy idea: what if she does? - Pacifica asked.

And to their surprise, a fifth voice answered that question.

\- Yeah, she does like him. And what the heck are you guys doing here?

Four pairs of eyes turned to the other end of their makeshift-command centre, only to see its leafy wall has been breached by none other Wendy's best friend, Tambry.

\- 'Sup. - she nodded her head, flicking her purple hair. - And again, what are you guys up to?

\- We... we're trying to make Dipper's not-date with Wendy go according to plan! - Grenda exclaimed.

\- So that nothing romantic happens at all - Candy added. - But I think we might not have calculated everything.

\- And what do you do in these bushes? - Mabel stepped forward and asked Tambry.

It took the older girl a bit more time to process the answers and give hers back. When she did so, her voice cracked a bit.

\- I... I've been helping Wendy score a date with Dipper, cos she asked me to help her...

As the realisation hit them, Tambry's and Mabel's eyes became equally wide and the two spoke in unison.

\- We did everything wrong!

 _ **To be continued... in the next prompt!**_


End file.
